DangerCouch is proud to pronounce the next seven days International Jimmy James Recognition Week.
At DangerCouch we are all abut giving credit where it is due, especially when it comes to bad notes or flatulence. We are also as pleased as punch to bring to the attention of the world, (or at least the small portion of it that visits this publication) the many fine contributions, and a few really awful ones, made by “The Jimster” to the unstoppable entertainment conglomerate that is DangerCouch.
Sadly, there seems to be a lack of recognition regarding the crucial role Mr. James plays in the inner workings of DangerCouch, as well as a complete inability to recognize him in public.
This comes as a complete surprise to the rest of the band because, frankly with so many restraining orders against him, we figured there would always be someone ready to point him out in crowd.
Since this doesn’t seem to be the case, allow us to provide you with a few Aids to Recognition you can use to distinguish the real Jimmy from the horde of sleazy imposters:
Jimmy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, People usually not Jimmy
Rather tall,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Rather tactful
Smooth with the ladies,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Smooth shaven
Abnormally self-confident,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Occupy reality
Reeks of charm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Occasionally shower
Wears His Sunglasses At Night,,,,,,,Ain’t Missing You At All
“Chicks dig me”,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”Please go away”
Likely to pick up on you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Likely to spray with mace
If the chart is not working for you, try this handy visual guide:
Jimmy
Not Jimmy
Jimmy
Not jimmy
Jimmy
Not Jimmy but possibly related.
If are still having trouble with your Jimmy identification, please test your vision with the following chart until you are cross-eyed or a migraine ensues:
I
AMJ
IMMYJ
AMESYADIG
Please do your part to help make Jimmy Recognition Week a success, because it’s really sad to see a grown man put up his own picture in the post office.
For more dry witty humor be sure to visit The Ominous Comma.
