I have a Danger Couch T-Shirt that I wear from time to time when I really want to impress people with my stylish good taste without submitting to cannibalism. It is sturdy, comfortable and very brown.
Here are some other not quite riveting facts about this wonderful garment:
It is high in fiber.
It makes me look buff. …If you define buff as pale and kind of grumpy.
With it I have occasionally engaged in brown-chesting, which is what you do when brown-nosing isn’t quite enough.
It is impervious to kryptonite and doesn’t care much for masonite either.
I feel semi-naked without it.
I have a secret fear that one day Danger Couch will show up and and say, “Is that your name on that shirt?! No, it’s mine. Give it back.”
It is carefully tailored to fit human beings. Mutant sizes requite an addition charge.
The flying television symbol on the front was taken from Sitcommacleeze the deity of drama from ancient geek mythology.
It is guaranteed to protect me from any angry spiny trees sneaking up behind me.
It is carbon neutral: it does not actively contribute to climate change, but neither can it filter your my personal emissions.
So there you have it. My Danger Couch shirt is not so much an article of clothing as it is an article of faith: comforting, fulfilling, and unproven. Keep watching this site for further DC mementos like the Danger Couch book bag, the Danger Couch cup holder, and the autographed Danger Couch couch with genuine spring poking action.
